I Have Returned

Alright, you guys.  I owe you an apology!  I was not very diligent last week in keeping up on this blog and posting recipes.  The good news is, I am down 19 lbs in under 3 weeks.  So excited.  Now weighing in is more of a fun challenge than a dreaded one.  I have been tweaking the eating during the day to match what my body needs.  Some things don't change...like me wanting to rip a face off or eat a small child when I am ravenous and my blood sugar has plummeted.  I am sure that my weight loss slowed some this week for that very reason.  I am still trying to figure out how much I need to eat versus how much I think I need to eat.  I probably need to eat more each sitting in order to fuel my body in the way it needs to be, especially when I am doing things like hiking!  One of these days I WILL learn.

A few shout outs this post, but not because I am being paid off.  Costco in Wilsonville has a screaming deal on coconut oil. It is Nutiva (high quality) cold pressed, organic, virgin coconut oil.  74 oz container for under $22.  They also have Lara bars.  I was never a fan until I started eating this way.  There are 18 bars in a box for $16.  It seems steep, but they are AWESOME for quick fuel to tide you over.  They are made with dates, walnuts, almonds and fruit.  That's it.  I have one box at home and now, one in my car.  Winco carries coconut flour, almond flour, whey protein, raw honey (box says "do not lift lid, bees will escape), grind your own almond butter, raw agave nectar, and all kinds of paleo friendly baking items in their bulk section, and their prices knock the socks off of the prepackaged stuff at safeway, trader joes and the like.  Also, Costco is carrying organic ground beef, which means it is grass fed, not grain finished and no antibiotics.  It's about $3.79/lb.

The recipes tonight are little more involved, but they are very good.  I was going to do a crock pot recipe, but they are so straight forward, they kinda fix themselves.  If you really want one, let me know, and I will really do one on here.

Marion Lake looking at 3 Fingered Jack

Coconut Crusted Chicken Strips (TOTALLY kid friendly!!)
Oven at 400*
10 Chicken breast strips
1/2 C. Coconut Milk
3/4 C. Coconut Flour
3/4 C. Coconut Flakes (unsweetened!)
1/2 C. Crushed Pistachios or Almonds

Put your coconut milk in one bowl and your dry ingredients in another (mix the dry ones together)
Dip your chicken strips into the milk, then into the dry mix.  Make sure it is thoroughly coated
Place on baking sheet
Bake for 30 min or until golden brown

The next recipe is for Tropical Chicken Burgers, but I think you could use turkey or even beef if you so desired.

Tropical Chicken Burgers
4 chicken breasts, cubed (or organic turkey, chicken or beef burger)
1 Red bell pepper, finely chopped
2 Green Onions, finely chopped
1/2 Mango, peeled and cut into little cubes
1 Jalapeno Pepper, finely chopped (cooking it reduces the "heat")
1/4 C. Unsweetened coconut flakes
1/4 C. Coconut Flour
1/4 C. Parsley, finely chopped
1 Egg
1/2 tsp. Black Pepper
1/2 tsp. Sea Salt

Cut the chicken into small cubes and place in food processor to grind on pulse until it has the consistency of ground chicken (this is if you don't use store bought ground meat.)

Transfer chicken into a large mixing bowl and add all ingredients.  

Mix with your hands until all ingredients are well distributed in the meat.

Yields 4 patties.

Hamburger Buns!!
Preheat oven to 375*

3/4 C. Coconut Flour
1/2 C. Flax Seed Meal
3 tsp. Baking Powder
1/2 tsp. Sea Salt
5 Eggs
5 Tbsp Melted Coconut Oil
1 Tbsp. Honey
1/2 C. Warm Filtered Water (I use the water from the fridge and heated it, and it was fine)

Mix the dry ingredients together in a separate bowl and dry whisk.

Mix the wet ingredients in a separate bowl.

Combine the two bowls with a wooden spoon (yes, it matters!) until doughy, but sticky.

Drop the appropriate amount of goo on a baking (cookie) sheet.  It should be enough for 6 buns.

Bake 20-25 minutes until golden brown

The buns are good for when you have a break craving, too.  I know it's not entirely the same, but it's better than a swift kick to the teeth!

I am really beginning to enjoy being in the kitchen.  Aside from wayward falling knives, I feel pretty comfortable in there.

I hope you enjoy these recipes, and PLEASE, let me know if they completely suck so I can help figure out what went wrong, or if they just really suck.  

ENJOY YOUR WEEK!!  BE WELL!

T

Absolute Failure and A Whole Lotta Laughter in the Kitchen!

When I am trying to make a desert, and the way it turns out looking something like I have seen in the back of an ambulance, it may be a sign that I may be a Paleo newbie.  Biggest failure ever.  I laughed SO hard.  It is totally probably one of those things where the rest of you would have needed to be in the kitchen with me.  So, so funny.  All I could do was look at it and laugh harder, and the best part was I could not voice why it struck me so funny, which made me laugh even harder.  Like guffaw, die hard, belly laugh...tears and holding my sides.  

In the kitchen today, it was a day of near misses, burned food and crappy turn out on recipes, but so fun and so funny.  I am learning, as usual, not to take myself too seriously.  It's when I do that I really get hurt.  I did things like drop a knife in between my bare feet, reached across the stove top with hot oil in a pan with wet hands.  I got a little reminder that I probably shouldn't do that, but nothing lasting.  I tried to grate my thumb off with the cheese grater, burned my first batch of sweet potato chips, forgot the almond butter in the paleo primal fudge.  Nothing major, just really funny.  I finally tried baking the potato chips, and surprisingly, they turned out pretty well.  I also made bacon breakfast cookies.  SO, so good.  There are none left.  I have eaten all 5 of them over the course of the day, and I am without apology.  

Oh, and before I forget, I am under 260....barely!  Remember, started this thing two weeks ago (15 days ago) at 276 and change.  I am now 259!  WooHooo!  I cried...good tears.  I still will say that the weight loss is now almost secondary with this gig.  I feel so good...so ME.  I haven't felt like this since before my gut went nuts and I got hurt.  Food is good, God is great, and I'm on a roll!  Well, not really...more like a biscuit.  A grain-free, seriously delicious biscuit!  I crack me up.

Here is the recipe to the bacon cookies.  It's from the Piece of Cake Paleo- Baking Bible recipe book

BACON BREAKFAST COOKIES
10 Minute Prep Time/15-20 min baking time
Preheat oven to 350* and lightly grease baking sheet

Then you'll need:
1/2 C. Coconut Flour (or almond flour)
3/4 Tsp Baking Soda
1/2 Tsp Sea Salt (yes, it matters!)
1/2 C. Melted coconut oil blended with left over bacon fat
3 Eggs, cage free (born free, not you liberated them from the carton)
1 Tbsp Raw Apple Cider Vinegar
1/2 C. Butternut Squash Puree
1/4 C. Chives, slivered (I just chopped them up pretty good)
4-5 Strips of Nitrate Free Bacon

Using kitchen shears, cut the bacon into small pieces, cook in skillet.  SAVE THE FAT!  YOU NEED IT!

Dry whisk flour, baking soda, and salt.  Add  bacon fat and melted coconut oil until smooth.

Separately, mix the apple cider vinegar, squash and eggs.  Beat until smooth.

Add the flour mixture, bacon and chives to the liquid ingredients.

Mix all ingredients until the batter becomes thick, and the ingredients well-blended.

The longer it sits, the thicker it will become.  

Drop biscuits onto cookie sheet and back until golden brown...about 15 minutes.
COOL AND SCARF!!

I also am almost word-perfect on the Romans 12 review.  What are you memorizing?  

Love you guys, thanks for following me and entertaining my weirdness!
T

Just Plain Amazing

I apologize to those of you who may have been waiting for a post yesterday.  I had every intention to make it happen, but then time got away from me and I didn't make it happen.

My day started with quite the giggle as my phone auto corrected/predictive texted a naughty word to my friend and O.T., Sybil.  My appointment was at 11:45 am yesterday, and since it was earlier in the day and a Monday, I thought I would offer to pick up a chai tea for her on my way in.  Here's the Text:
Me: "Hey Hooker, you want me to get you a HOT chai tea?"
Syb:"Hooker?! You mean MacGyver? And yes, please :)"
Me: Oh. My. Gosh. HOTSHOT. I meant Hotshot.  I swear to God.  I am horrified!  I would never call anyone that, and if I did, it would never be serious!"

Yeah, so when I showed up, I just started laughing, handed her her cup, and said I couldn't even make eye contact at that moment, and we laughed some more.  I managed to keep most of my car on the gravel road as I was frantically trying to explain my blunder.  The funny thing is, I had turned that function on my phone off.  So, someone pulled a dirty on me.  Well played, phone altering ninja.

The day rolled on, and the fun continued.  I was STARVING when I got home, so I decided I was gonna do some food creating, and I have to report, I did pretty darn well.  I made a baked fruit cobbler, a bacon, avocado, craisin, cucumber and romaine salad topped with a swish of honey and some McCormick's salt-free veggie seasoning.  It was most stellar!  Later on, I made "raw cookies" or "caveman fudge".  They are both the same thing, except the cookies called for unsweetened, flaked coconut, but I didn't have any.  So, it's fudge more than cookie.  All I can say is AMAZING!!  I could just sit and eat all of these delicious things by myself and never share...and probably be quite content in my corner of the world!

I am down 12 lbs as of last weigh in.  Today is weigh in day too, but I haven't made it down to the scale yet.  More than the weight loss is the way I feel.  I am awake at 8, and though not chipper, I'm ready to roll for the day.  I have the energy of a teenager, my thinking is clearer, my attitude and mood are both much better, and I don't need a nap in the middle of the day anymore.  Had I know that eating this way would make me feel better in the above areas, I would have done this eating lifestyle switch long ago.  The weight loss is important, but almost secondary.  I have talked to a bunch of people about eating this way, and a majority have said it sounded like something they could try.  My cousins have been eating gluten free for some time, and after talking to Alyssa, who hadn't gone grain free, it sounds like she may try it.  Her mom, Angi said she eats paleo, and that is exciting, cuz she knows how to make gluten free goodies!  I bet she will make killer paleo deserts...and share with me.  GLORIOUS!  I spoke with Paul some, too, and it sounds like he is almost "in".  I wish I could jump up on the mountain and just proclaim that this is wicked awesome!!

Here are the recipes from yesterday:

Fruit Cobbler Thing:
Preheat oven to 325*

10-15  cherries, pitted and halved
1 Apple, quartered and sliced into chunks
1 Peach (I used white flesh peach) quartered and sliced up

(you can add probably any fruit and it will be great! This is just what I had available)

Put all ingredients in a Tupperware bowl with a lid.  Sprinkle on some cinnamon and nutmeg and shake that baby til your arms fall off.

I made a crust of crushed pecans and honey butter, but it wasn't that amazing.  You could do it, and you may love it.  It wasn't bad, it just didn't add to the dish.

Spread in a baking dish of your choice (glass) and bake for 20-30 minutes, or until the fruit is tender.
Drizzle honey over the top and enjoy!

Primal Fudge AND Raw Cookies

2/3 Cup of Honey
2/3 Cup of Almond Butter (or Cashew Butter)
2/3 Cup of Cocoa Powder
2/3 Cup of Cold Pressed Coconut Oil
3/4 Tsp of Vanilla

Add all ingredients except for the coconut oil to a blender.
Heat coconut oil over medium heat until melted. Then add to blender.
Mix until smooth and well-blended.
Pour into a pie dish or small glass pan and freeze for 15 min or refrigerate for 30 min until set.
ENJOY!

**For the cookies, you add 2/3 cup of flaked, unsweetened coconut, mix contents in a saucepan over low heat, and drop by spoonful onto parchment paper; refrigerate until firm.  


The salad was just bacon, romaine lettuce, craisins, avocado, honey and the veggie seasoning.  That's it.

I am really enjoying cooking these dishes and eating this way.  It is far more simple than I expected it to be, and it's fun, too.  I just bough a cookbook for baked dishes, like waffles, breads, scones, cakes and cookies that are ALL paleo compliant.  As I try them, I will post them.

Good Day to you, friends!

T

I'm all twitchy and stuff

I really don't have a reason to be on here writing tonight, except that I am hoping that staring at a computer screen will make my eyes CLOSE!  I have been on the slippery slope of being tired since about 6 p.m. I can't shake it.  My mind is like, "HEEEeeeyyy!  How you doin'?  Let's go to sleep, yeah?!"  So, I think to myself, I can sleep for an hour and be okay since I didn't sleep much last night.  So, I cozy down and start to nod.  Then I get too hot.  I kicked half the blankets off.  Then I can't sleep on my side, so I flip to my stomach (no lectures!)  Start to nod again, and my dog decides to use my back for a trampoline and my ponytail for a tug o war rope.  FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY, BOOMER!!  LAY! DOWN!!  He splits to go hide and mope under the bed.  Ahhhh....peace and quiet.....nodding....blissfully nodding.  Then I get the pre-sleep twitchies and twitch myself awake!  GAH!!  Falling asleep...something tickles on my arm.  I think it's just a hair from Boomer's tug o war match with my hair.  Oh, no...can never be that simple SPIDER!  On my ever loving arm.  I. AM. AWAKE, NOW!!! Bloody hell!  I give up.  I gave up.  And, I am still UP!

Today, aside from SLEEP, was an absolute success story.  I made two random dishes that were like a protein block party in my mouth!  To quote my favorite Suzi Blair in the whole world, "It was a flavor pack!"  So, they are really complicated.  They will blow your mind and leave you slaving in your kitchen....for about 15 minutes, TOTAL.

Accidental Screaming Success #1:  I'm gonna call her Paleo Hash

1. Cook enough ground beef ( I recommend grass fed!) for however many people you are feeding on Medium High-Medium heat (all range tops are different)

2. Chop up enough green onion to make a presence, but overrun the show and toss it in.

3.  Cut up a few mushrooms (I love them, so I use a lot!) and toss them in to saute for about 5-6 minutes.

By the time you get to step 3, the meat should be fairly cooked and the onions are tender.

4. Turn the heat off after the mushrooms are done, but don't take it out of the pan yet.

5. Top with grated cheese (full fat!)

6. If you so desire, you can add in guacamole or whatever else strikes your fancy.

7.  Mix it all up and put it in a bowl.

8. EAT IT UP, MAN!!

Instant Success #2: Honey Chicken and Carrots!

1. Toss some whole chicken breast in olive oil and McCormick's Montreal Steak Seasoning.

2. Grill Chicken.

3. Cook carrots (pressure cook to keep nutrients)

4. Over LOW heat, heat up some raw honey (or minimally processed)...about 2 Tbsp.

5. Once the honey is runny (HAHA!), add the carrots and the chicken and coat all of it in the honey.

6. VIOLA!  EAT, EAT!!

It's that simple.  I still can't get enthusiastic about eggs, but I did add one the other morning to the Fabulous Paleo Hash, and couldn't tell it was there.  That may be the ticket to choking them down.  I still say Greek yogurt with honey and fresh fruit is far better and more preferable!

So, now I am going to really try to sleep.  After I finish my laundry, check facebook, wrestle with the dog and love on Emmary.  Yeah, that makes it about 11 before I turn in.  Sounds about right.

PS- Down 11.5 lbs in just under 2 weeks.  E.T.!!!  IT'S WORKING!!!

Chang's and Bacon. Paleo, where have you been all my life?!

Day two is in the books, sports fans, and I didn't have any slip ups, struggles or odd cravings for food I really can't have anymore.  I have decided that mushrooms with ground beef and chives with ONE egg thrown in, is perhaps the best snack or quick meal food I can muster.  I have got to do better with NOT procrastinating when my body tells me it's in need of food---it's when I wait that I turn into a Hoover vacuum and eat whatever is within reach, and usually far too much of it.

I went grocery shopping for the week and managed to keep it under $100, and probably have more food than I will eat in a week.  I just didn't want to find myself hungry and not have the right foods here.  I read a great into to Paleo book today, and frankly, I was surprised and very encouraged at the food lists.  There is basically two rules: No grains and try to eat foods with less than 5 ingredients.  It really is the Cliff's Notes version of this diet.  I think I am going to enjoy it, muy much!

I have also decided today that I am not going to be a numbers watcher.  The scale has never told the entire story, and it will only be a source of frustration, especially as time goes on and I slow in the weight loss.  My clothes will tell me all I need to know.  I will weigh in once a week and call it good.

I'm not entirely sure how it's gonna work tomorrow, but I am making something with bacon and avocados tomorrow.  Perhaps with chicken breast or steak and some butternut squash.  If it works out, I will post a picture and a recipe for it.  Wish me luck!

This week's verses I am working on:
Romans 12:1-5 (ESV)
"I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.  Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God.  That which is good and acceptable and perfect.  For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgement, each according to measure of faith that God has assigned.  For as in one body we have many member, and all the members do not have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another."

I have memorized Romans 12 before, but want to reacquire it before moving on to something new.  Be blessed and thanks for following along!  Happy Friday, friends!

T

It's The End of the Carbs As We Know It.....And I Feel F.I.N.E.

I try to tell myself that I really am okay.  I got this.  I don't need no steenking bread.  (I haven't actually eaten bread in a week!)  Yet, all I want right now is a couple pieces of toast with half a cube of butter and a whole lotta honey!  So, tonight, I am F.I.N.E.  Freaked out, Insecure, Neurotic, and Emotional....about food!  This is about as logical as my fear of spiders.  

I just have to make it through the first week.  After that, it's cake...no...pie....NO...BACON!!!  That's it! Bacon it is!  I suppose before I unload my emotions about my lack of bread consumption, I should really tell you what this mess is all about, and what inspired me to finally kick myself in the rear and get moving on this weight-loss journey.

I have struggled with my weight for as long as I can remember.  I was taller and thicker that kids in my classes from the very beginning, but I think I finally noticed it about fifth grade.  That's pretty normal, by most standards, but most chubby, active, athletic 10 year old's don't eat diet pills.  I did.  My thyroid registers on the lowest end of normal it can, and it has never been addressed from a medical standpoint, though it probably should have been.  My round face is both genetic, and very characteristic of someone with slow thyroid.  When my gut was haywire, they kept coming back to thyroid or adrenal insufficiency as a possible diagnosis, but it never developed past the testing/talking phase.  

I graduated high school at 234 lbs.  I may be heavy, but God has allowed me to carry the weight "well", meaning distribution.  I have always had a belly.  If I could snap my fingers and have one physical appearance change, it would be my belly.  The way I carry my weight puts me a theoretical risk for every kind of disease under the sun, and it is compounded by the fact that a majority of those diseases run on both sides of my family.  Diabetes, Coronary Artery Disease, Cancer, blah, blah, blah.  To be clear, my motivation does NOT come from the fear of the mentioned diseases.  It comes from just wanting to feel better.  I sleep crappy, my back hurts, my knees and ankles hurt, and I'm tired of not fitting in to my clothes.  I refuse to go buy "fat" clothes.  I just need to get my butt in gear and lose the weight.

When I got sick in 2009, I weighed in at a whopping 293 lbs.  Put your eyes back in your head, you read the numbers right.  Today, I got on the scale and weighed in at 267.4 lbs.  I kinda started to gear up to eat the paleo way last week, and weighed myself then, and I was at 276 lbs.  So, what I say next will make more sense--I don't have a hard time losing weight.  I have a hard time staying disciplined and motivated to keep it off.  I lost about 60 lbs over the course of my gut craziness.  For those that are clueless, I had bouts of stomach pain and vomiting from 2009-2011.  I was diagnosed with Gastroparesis (fancy word for paralyzed stomach), and eventually was diagnosed with Endometriosis (explains the cyclical pain).  The inability to eat regular food, and having to be fed through a tube was rough.  

Though I can't eat a lot in one sitting, I can pretty much eat whatever I want, which has gotten me back into hot water.  I also went back to school full time (18-21 credits/term), and that doesn't help the motivation factor either.  I pretty much ate, drank coffee, and studied.  I noticed about October that my pants were tight, and by June, they had long been collecting dust in the closet.  

So, here are my goals:

-To fit back into my jeans by the time school starts in September.

-To get back into the routine of Scripture Memory.  When life is outta whack in one area, it so often affects others...I am no exception.

-To encourage others who need to lose a few pounds; to encourage those who struggle with other areas of life; and to be encouraged by you in the process.

-To let you follow along to see if this Paleo eating lifestyle is all it's touted to be :)

Thank you for reading.  I hope to post every couple days.  Here's to the crazy journey!

Cheers!!

T